So, since this blog is about my journey to find a geek home to call my own, let’s get that started. I didn’t really try to find a geek home until I reached my 20s and was out of college. Before that, I was mainly focused on fitting into my IRL (in real life). I tried to be friends with groups of people in college, but I was still denying my inner geek, fighting against her.

When I discovered the world of Kevin Smith, or should I say, his “View Askewniverse”, I thought I had struck gold! I became obsessed with his movies, since I do love obscure things, and found he had an online forum he actually posted on! No celebrities had that kind of interaction with their fans! So I joined, and started posting. This was, oh, around 2002 or so I would say. Well, from there my love grew, and thru the forum (known as “the board”) I came to feel included in something, and for the first real time began to let my inner geek out. And it was good.

I got more involved in the board over the years, took part in the annual holiday gift swap (online non denominational version of secret santa among boardies), and posted regularly. As with all things though, my ADD took over, and I would soon slow down on posting. But I always picked back up. Over the years, the board was the one constant in my internet life.

But as with everything, time moved on and the board evolved I guess. I started to feel more of an outsider. Most of the people had become a part of this group where they had meet ups and went to events together, and I never could. And Kevin Smith moved on to Twitter, and was around less and less, and even though the board was our home, it started to feel different. It got shut down, due to board drama, and was reborn as a new one. It just didn’t really feel the same anymore. And I really started to feel it. It had started to lose its sparkle for me. I am still a HUGE Kevin Smith fan, and View Askew fan, don’t get me wrong, but the direction the board was going, and the View Askew team was going, just felt, different. The thing that made the board special was getting to be a part of something so unique, an insider, and somewhere along the way it lost that feel. It’s spark.

I hung around though, because I did form some good online friendships with some great people, and I wanted to still be a part of it. But sometimes it felt like it was being forced, that it wasn’t that much fun anymore. And when it was shut down (seemingly for good), I knew that was it. The final nail. Even though some boardies moved on to a back up forum that had been made the first time it was shut down, this time, it felt REAL. Everyone knew it was real, and there really wasn’t much hope of it coming back. And I tried to move on to the back up board, to continue on with some sense of normalcy, but it wasn’t the same. It isn’t the same. It’s something for people to hang on to. And that’s fine, but it’s just not something I feel I can get into.

And so I have resigned myself to the fact that home is gone. Like graduating from high school or college. What was once my home had to eventually come to an end and I had to move on from it. It wasn’t going to last forever. But it would have been nice if it had. Sure you can still go back and visit, but the people are different, and it’s not the same as before.

The board was my one constant in my online life, and even though I have tried other resources and not managed to fit in with them, this one was a big one that sucks the most.

There are others I will blog about in future posts, but this one had to be first since it has had the most effect on me.